Nostalgia
by Silk Spectre
Summary: EXPLANATION: Rorschach, post Karnak adventure. Though not 'dead', he is assumed so, and what Jon has done is perhaps almost worse than Death. Rorschach finds himself falling through holes in time, visiting moments of his own past as his present self. AUis
1. Mother

EXPLANATION: Rorschach, post Karnak adventure. Though not 'dead', he is assumed so, and what Jon has done is perhaps almost worse than Death. Rorschach finds himself falling through holes in time, visiting moments of his own past as his present self. Can he change anything? Or is this all how things are meant to be? Very AUish, I guess. Belongs to Allen Moore, not me.

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"DO IT!" Walter closes eyes, face in hand... Rorschach opens them, face back on, in the middle of a street. Seems to be New Jersey. What the bloody hell?

Rorschach's Journal, date unknown.

May, 1956?!

Found self in red light district, New Jersey? Whores at work. No rubble. No blood. Veidt lied? Hurm. Started walking, nothing better to do. Billboards. Recognized area, vaguely, something off. Women never change, bare breasts, falling over themselves for a piece of filth. Money, for drugs. Sex for drugs, money just a middle man, sometimes cut out of equation. Scum, all of them. Brush past one, shoulders bumping. Cringe at contact. She demands she 'show me a night'. Refuse, ignoring her. She insists, following. Continue to ignore her.

She hit me. Can't have this. Slur on reputation, musn't let women abuse me.

Dragged her into nearby alley is easy. She thinks she'll get money. Money for more dirt. Rummage through trash, find half empty bottle of Drain-o. Force it to her lips, holding her still. She coughs and splutters. She doesn't see that I'm making her better, cleaning away the filthy words on her tongue, the semen from countless men being purged from her throat. I'm doing her a favor, and even as I hear her last word, "Walter", I feel no guilt. Was Coincidence, surely. Did not see 'Walter's' face. Rorschach is not known here, somehow.

Impact was not until later, pondering that last word, when a newspaper crunches under my feet. May,1956. It clicks. I change direction abruptly. Must see Charton Home. It still stands, looks just as remembered. Take grappling gun, now precious. If Dan exists, is 11 years old. Not Night Owl. Not known... Shoot above window, remember where old room was. Climb...look in on sleeping red haired form.

Climbed down. Surreal. Felt tingling sensation, just like in arctic. Blue Flash. Am now in gray area. Dead?

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Will write others. please review.


	2. Kitty

EXPLANATION: Rorschach, post Karnak adventure. Though not 'dead', he is assumed so, and what Jon has done is perhaps almost worse than Death. Rorschach finds himself falling through holes in time, visiting moments of his own past as his present self. Can he change anything? Or is this all how things are meant to be? Very AUish, I guess. Belongs to Allen Moore, not me.

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Rorschach's Journal, date unknown.

March 1964?

Back in grey zone. Felt tingles, bright blue flash. Found self in New York, a apartment complex. Again, no rubble, no chaos, no rioting. No longer seems as odd. Veidt not problem, yet. Only 25? Hard to think about. Was distracted from thoughts, a woman's scream petering out. Know that kind of scream. Woman is dead now. No no no. Too late to save. Stupid, stupid. Should have been moving faster. Turn corner just to see assailant flee. Tortured, raped body of young woman on ground, neighbors looking down. Takes moment, nothing more, to realize significance. I curse those looking down silently before following man responsible. Kitty Genovese will be avenged. Get man against a wall, hit him until like sack of meat, unrecognizable and no longer protesting. Not sure if dead. Don't care. Blue flash, now here.

Wonder... if Miss Genovese was saved, by me, would Rorschach not exist? Is that possible? Mother had to die, that is given. Remember being informed, it 'good'. Perhaps should not meddle, but sit and do nothing next time. Is that possible? Much to ponder. Hurm.

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Will write others. please review.


	3. Blaire

EXPLANATION: Rorschach, post Karnak adventure. Though not 'dead', he is assumed so, and what Jon has done is perhaps almost worse than Death. Rorschach finds himself falling through holes in time, visiting moments of his own past as his present self. Can he change anything? Or is this all how things are meant to be? Very AUish, I guess. Belongs to Allen Moore, not me.

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Rorschach's Journal, date unknown. Last warp: October, 1975

Getting sick of time travel. Leaves bad taste in mouth. Feel horrible. Found self in dilapidated shed, achingly familiar in it's horrors. Ran fingers over doll maker's dummy, bile rising in throat. Heard dogs outside. No. No no no. Was terrible. Strode across room, flung open cabinets. Cleaver there. Hacksaw there. Look down on cutting board. No scrapes. Smooth. Clean. Pondered meaning. Heard whimper, non canine. Turned, went through rooms. Found her. Bound, injured. Barely looked like little girl, save for pink teddy-bear panties. Afraid of me. Conflict. Knew saving her would erase me. Didn't. Should have. Should have tried. Feel sick. Should have tried. Did what could be done. Hugged child, lied. Told her all would be fine. Lied. Avenged, yes. Saved, no. Should have done more. Letting miss Blaire Roche cry self to sleep in lap not enough. Should have saved. Should have carried out, past dogs. Should have killed dogs. Should have destroyed knives. Should have gone out, found younger self, tipped him off. Should have, should have should have! So stupid. So selfish.

The cost of Rorschach's creation, life of one little girl. Too much. Should not have allowed. World needs Rorschach though, perhaps more than miss Roche. How many other lives have I saved? Is a balance possible, or am I already damned? Feel tingling again, along with sickness in stomach. Shall stop here.

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Will write others. please review.


	4. Blake

EXPLANATION: Rorschach, post Karnak adventure. Though not 'dead', he is assumed so, and what Jon has done is perhaps almost worse than Death. Rorschach finds himself falling through holes in time, visiting moments of his own past as his present self. Can he change anything? Or is this all how things are meant to be? Very AUish, I guess. Belongs to Allen Moore, not me. (OMG I'm back. O___Ol;;; sorry about that, folks. I moved and didn't have internet.)

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Rorschach's Journal, date unknown. Last warp: The night of October 11th, 1985

Puked after last 'warp'. Feel terrible. Was much surprised to find self in posh hallway. The air reeked of the same disconcerting familiarity as everything else has. Half a mind to just sit in this hallway. Just sit and stay still and not do anything stupid. Yes. That was the idea. Then heard laughter. Familiar laughter, laughter that is often accompanied by violence and brutality. The Comedian's signature. Fate had delivered me to his front door, which was promptly kicked down.

"ALL YOUR FAULT!" I screamed. It was from his hints, his clues, his trail of breadcrumbs that made me aware of Veidt's plan. If he's not died in such a way, if the pin had not been found, had ignorance prevailed, death with the masses in the 'alien attack' would be mine. If this were to be changed...the yellow smiley, splattered with blood plucked carefully from the nearly dead mans' chest, before tossing him through the window.

Sit, help self to water from his fridge. No one will come. Walter will not know that this suicide was that of the clown. So I prayed for a moment, waiting for my 'warp'. The door made a squeaky noise as it opened. Veidt, garbed in black. Of course. His intention. I laugh. I laugh so hard. He stares.

"Blake is dead. And you are insane." Sat with him, told him his evil plan as he had told us. I stood to stretch. I saw him stoop. Time slowed as he flipped the yellow button like a quarter. I tackled him. No. No no. Just before I returned to the grey, the pin toppled over the edge of the window sill. For Walter to find the next morning.

It is dark here. It is lonely. I feel nihilistic. And sad.

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Will write others. please review.


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